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Every Time's For Violet.Lord Of The Strings ~ Don't Let Your Instrument Take Control Of Your Body. |
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| A Short Intro To My Journal | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| So I Update This Almost Every Single Day For You I, Begin To Hate You For Your Face Not Just The Things You Do. Superlinks (better than hyperlinks): musicianforums - the pit Gamefaqs - Random Insanity Torrentspy MX Photobucket | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Aug. 31st, 2006 @ 10:49 am Theres a basketball hoop with no ring. Talk about false hope in an empty shot. | |||
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| Its the last day of freedom. Freedom to do nothing but sit here and do nothing. Cause doin' nothin' will always be better than somethin'. Woodhouse called yesterday (my college) they took my subject changes, wahey, no more physics for me, no more, im doing english language instead. Maths, Biology, Chemistry and English Language. College is going to kick, ass. Apparently, im going to learn how to 'develop and adapt my writing style for different audiences' Pssht, my wr1t1nG $ty7£ k1kz @zz!!!! wouldn't you say? My Brand New tickets still havn't arrived. I'm going on edge, they need to arrive soon or, 1)I'm going to be too busy to notice anybody else. 2)People will realise that i'm not as attentive as usual. 3)They'll instinctively blame themselves and go into the five step program: i)denial ii)anger iii)bargaining iv)depression v)acceptance. 4)unfortunately many will not reach the fifth stage and commit suicide by step iv. 5)i'll have to deal with the godawful guilt of it until, my brand new tickets arrive. 6)I'll be happy again and their deaths will be in vain. 7)I'll go see brand new. Things will kick ass. "Within time I'm sure [their] death[s] will be a mystery, even to me." Oh, and my internet connection needs to effin well sort itself out. This is just becoming somewhat frustrating ey? "If theres any justice in heaven, then god won't let me in. He'll lock the gates and take my weekend pass away" | ||
| Aug. 25th, 2006 @ 08:15 pm (no subject) | |||
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| you have purchased the following: Event/Venue/Seating Date Qty Delivery Type Confirmation Code Brand New at Carling Academy Brixton STALLS STANDING Saturday, September 9 at 7:00 PM 2 UK Post Ticket face value: 25.00 Service fee: 4.65 Total charges: 29.65 NOTES: 1. AMG - SJM Concerts Message: **BRIXTON ACADEMY DOOR COLLECTION POLICY - Tickets can only be collected at the box office after doors open on the night of the event. Security Notice In the light of recent terrorist activities academy music group is requesting that all customers where possible do not bring bags etc to the venue. If you must bring such items we will insist that they are searched and subsequently deposited in our cloakroom. Furthermore in order to avoid any disruption to your evenings entertainment could all customers please ensure that they do not leave any items unattended. We are sure your appreciate the reasoning behind this policy and we look forward and appreciate your cooperation. 2. PLEASE RECORD YOUR CONFIRMATION CODE(S). 3. FOR ALL TICKETS TO BE MAILED: Your ticket(s) will be delivered to the following address: YASSIR MATLOOB 26 Oakfield Avenue extra stuff :P im gonna see brand newwwww im gonna see brand newwwww :P | ||
| Aug. 25th, 2006 @ 02:42 pm Going Away To College | |||
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The song you should be listening to is: Senses Fail - Irony Of Dying On Your Birthday
2A*'s: English Language, Maths5A's: Double Science, English Literature, Geography, Sociology 3B's: Double I.T, D.T 1 C: German So, i guess i did pretty well, i was supposed to get two A*'s in Science as well, and i ended up 21 UMS points away from it =/ the whole of the subject is marked out of 800, i got 699, i needed 720 for an A* and 640 points gets you an A, so i cleared that pretty far. Now for the good news. i got a perfect score on my maths test (: 400/400 go me. in my science i got 177/200 and 197/200, the reason i didn't get the points i needed was because in year 10, i did basically fuck all and messed up all my modules =/ my own fault, doesn't matter now. so im going to college now but in light of the A* i got in english language im thinking im going to drop physics and pick up english language or literature, though probably language. thats if my college will let me, if not i might have to apply to mill hill again and see if i can go there, because it just really hit me that physics is not a fun subject, even though apparently of all the sciences, im a physicist. i heard a medical joke, you know when you hear lame jokes and think, they only laugh at that because its their profession? this is one of those. but i found it funny. The physician knows everything and does nothing. The surgeon knows nothing but does everything. The pathologist knows everything and does everything just too late. ... Shut up, its funny. Oh, and even more awesomeness? Brand New released more tickets for their brixton show, now if matthew doesn't pick up his damn phone in the next few hours, i will kill him. i dont mean that as a euphemism, i will literally choke him until i have successfully cut off his air supply and he ceases to exist. (: | ||
| Aug. 23rd, 2006 @ 11:48 pm (no subject) | |||
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Put a gun to my head and blast my brains across the wall. No really, i say. I'm fine. either 11.5 hours or 12.5 hours until i get my GCSE results. I'm not sure, since misinformation is almost a lesson at my high school. I'm nervouuuuuuuuuuuuusss, and here right now, right now im in the middle of that time when everyones best friends. Everyone's wishing everyone else good luck because 'a problem aired is a problem shared' or something like that. That and when someone (lets call them me, for example) beats someone else (lets call them you, for example) then you could say that you weren't in a competition but that you were supportive, and you did wish me good luck. We're just covering our tracks prematurely. Everyone says 'don't worry, you'll do fine'. do people not seem to realise that that just puts more pressure on? everyone expects you to do well, so you can't excel, you can only meet the expected or fail. What A Fucking Jib. Am i okay? Yeah. I Don't look okay, apparently. No really. I'm Fine | ||
| Apr. 11th, 2006 @ 01:47 pm (no subject) | |||
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| http://articles.news.aol.com/news/artic just thought it was funny | ||
| Feb. 20th, 2006 @ 03:59 pm you look just like your father. | |||
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| so i just got back from my woodhouse interview. it went well :D. they also changed my applied subjects from triple science and math, to bio, chem, maths with mechanics and english language :) whey. i dunno if im in, but i think i should be, now all i have to worry about is getting at least 6 A's in my gcse's. hmmmm with the three a*s i have. i just need to get the double a im predicted in english and an a in geog. im nervous... | ||
| Feb. 19th, 2006 @ 12:08 am just noticed | |||
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| just noticed my posts do not appear on my friends friends pages. dont know why. but sure that livejournal has fucked up edit: marcus brigstocke | ||
| Feb. 18th, 2006 @ 11:40 pm You Dont Even Wanna Fuck With That Mack Daddy | |||
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| Just finished watching final destination. also saw aeon flux with matt in harrow today. i was supposed to see it with matt chris and marcus. i was also supposed to meet steph there (chris' ex. not the chris we were supposed to meet there, chris james the singer) but she couldnt make it. marcus couldn't make it. we saw chris there with his mum. Steph was there but as soon as we got out of the cinema her parents had come out and she was going places with them. Things change. i need fingerless gloves. for guitar. i need them. because they look cool. especially with guitar. its quite depressing when you realise that no matter how hard you try, how long you try or how often you try, you'll never write anything that funny, that great, that inspirational. you can learn every rule of the language. read a million books all to confirm that depressing fear. i just dont want to work a regular job. i dont want to meet anyone famous. i want them to meet me. | ||
| Feb. 17th, 2006 @ 01:40 am I Promise. When It Makes Me A Million, We'll Tour Europe. I Promise. | |||
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| well, its 1:41...not quite two in the morning yet but i thought i'd break out of my pattern. go wild. be a teenager...yeah. You know that feeling you get when you realise just how very very screwed you really are and you sorta start to panic but you're too tired or too lazy to really do anything about it so instead you just bitch about it and hope someone will suffer along with you? yeah i got that. band practice tomorrow. united nations. personally i love the name. what does anyone else think? we plan to start writing our masterpiece tomorrow. you know the drill. add to your expectations. add to your problems. At what point do we realise that all our potential turns into nothing? i mean, we always just say, hell one day i'll be a millionaire. then we realise that we're too old, and you can't pull it off. im only 15. i dont think that. not yet. but im scared of it. im scared of everything. 9 weeks left. in 9 weeks the last 4 years will not matter anymore. at all. everyone will be no one. someone will be a stranger. sometimes things make perfect sense in the morning. sometimes they make no sense and you're just tired. just human. this is one of those times. | ||
| Feb. 16th, 2006 @ 02:18 am these are my hands these are my thoughts these are my plans THESE ARE MY NASTY LITTLE THOUGHTS | |||
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The song you should be listening to is: beaste boys ~ intergalactic
2 in the morning and im updating again. is this my thing? gash im tired. i havn't stayed indoors a single day this half term. and i need to do my work. its building up im falling down and im too tired from sleep deprivation to care. i dont know why but apparently i seem to make everyone think i have a secret girlfriend, people keep buggering me to tell them who im going out with. for fucks sake i'd like to bleedin well know that myself. gosh theres too many women in my life. the ones im interested in aren't interested. the ones interested in me dont interest me. the one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person. anyway beastie boys are playing so im gonna sleep now. OH and i write sins not tragedies...is an amazing song. and the lead singer is effin awesome, he rules. he reminds me of johnny depp. who coincidentially...also rules. 'oh, well look at it this way, i mean technically our marriage is saved. this calls for a toast so pour the champagne, pour the champagne!' | ||
| Feb. 15th, 2006 @ 12:09 am Because I Want You | |||
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| i can compete. i can hold my own. i can win. i can but i wont i wont because i dont want it anymore. competition sucks. fucking up is what makes us human. i havn't actually fucked up. just reflecting. so i bought the next (and so far last) palahniuk book. 'Haunted'. Awesome. Fucking Amazing. Incredible. I didn't want to write about it because these words cannot do those words the justice they're owed. All i can really say is you musut all buy it. all of you. i havn't read it all yet. i dont want to. im worried. once i finish it. whats left? this is the last book. fight club, choke, survivor, lullaby, invisible monsters, non-fiction, fugitives and refugees. all finished. haunted is all thats left. this is the last piece of inspiration i can find that means anything anymore. Everyone else is unimpressive and misguided. self-obsessed and blind. speak-thinkers. thinking is a second motion in everyones book. im rambling. i just dont want to work on anything. anymore. 'The Worst Is Yet To Come' | ||
| Feb. 10th, 2006 @ 08:51 pm shutupshutupshutupshutup IcantTELLyouTOshutUPwhenYOU'REsilent | |||
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| and you cant yell at me when im already listening to screams. yes im weird. yes im fine with that. i am enlightened. actually. i dont think i am. not yet. not enough...life experience. i wrote a song. well i wrote the music. josh is writing the bass line. kyri is writing the drum line. josh is writing the lyrics. for this song anyway. i dont think my hair has ever been cleaner. but what really sucks. is i think thats actually become important to me. which i really. really dont like. hey lighten up. i saw final destination 3 today with matthew marcus and chris. it is a fucking great movie. fucking great, the whole audience was screaming and laughing. i got a letter from woodhouse today. i got an interview. yay, more organisation of my life. i saw you today jacqueline. outside kenton library. you were actually just a few feet behind jayesh. who was a few metres behind riten. who he was actually meeting in harrow leisure centre. you didn't flutter an eyelid. interesting: my life is not interesting and i dont pretend it is. if i become famous. people would like to read all of this. but the only ones that can are the people i added. it wouldnt be a big deal. if i died, whilst being famous, people would offer money for this. the only ones that could sell this to them would be you. perhaps livejournal as well, but i dont think so. i just wonder which one of you would convince yourselves that its what i want first. | ||
| Feb. 9th, 2006 @ 11:58 am you'restuckonachain | |||
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I feel very: torn, ripped n' so confused
first off, slightly out of character but: OMFG 3 DOORS DOWN ARE HAVING A CONCERT ON MARCH 31st!!!!!I have to go and see them. Problem: March 31st is a friday. Its the talent show. Possible Solution: We're not in the talent show yet, our audition is when we get back. Possible Problem: By that time tickets could be sold out. Possible Solution: Buy the tickets now and assume we wont make it in. Possible Problem: That would require me to sabotage the song. Which-I-Wont-Do. Conclusion: I'm fucked. the next concert is in Glasgow. Fuck-ing Glasgow. Im not that big of a fan of 3 doors down but their guitarist is insane. He writes SUCH good riffs. im learning like all of his songs. IWANTTOGOSOBADLY. gah...goddamn school with its stupid stupid dates. this is karma :P my life sucks, boo hoo, scuse me while i slit the sky. | ||
| Jan. 31st, 2006 @ 09:55 am just like, the lady in a blue dress, you've got cigarettes on your breath | |||
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I feel very: is hungry a mood?
doo wee doo dah dee dah...hello =). havn't got the internet back yet but im in the library now doing my 'sociology' << >>...but i got withdrawal symptoms from the oh-so-crazy lives you lead. so i just had to come and say hello. so lets see. theres me, jignesh, shilpa, ayesha, zyiad, christelle, reshma...meh people basically. now zyiad is here. he may be dying...and jignesh secretly wants to be a pro skater. and im printing tabs. hm well lesson learnt perhaps internet lives aint so crazy. well anywho internet should be arriving at my house today...yay i guess =/. i dont really wanna go back on msn. too many people. too many hours. too much...altered reality. what they never tell you about being a teenager is that your first instinct will always be wrong. so as long as we can get chris to damn well sing can't stop, we should be playing it at the talent show. if i can get someone to record it i'll put it up for all your eyes ears and anything else ;) 'dont try to be cute with me, cos i know, you hate yourself and you'd end your stupid life now. but you're. too spineless.' =) | ||
| Jan. 12th, 2006 @ 10:28 pm If I Bothered To Be Honest Then Baby I'd Have Told You To Slit Those Wrists Fast And Deep. | |||
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I feel very:
And I Open Up Like The Back Of A Book. I Ruin Everything With Just A Quick Look. thoughtfulThe song you should be listening to is: Bowling For Soup ~ The Bitch Song My god you would really be amazed at the number of people who dont understand that line. Anyway im applying for woodhouse online as we speak. time's running out and i've been putting it off too long. i have nine pieces of coursework. I've been back for eight days. you do the math coursework. i guess i just dont want to go to college. i mean i am sick and tired of pretty much everyone in my year, but its what im used to. im used to only being semi popular and semi smart. im used to teachers and the area. im used to being average. i just dont want to go to college and realise that i dont know shit. i figure when i get there, everything'll be different. new people. new area. new everything. i figure i'll either give up livejournal or start another one. i'll probably just make a new e-mail address. if im being 're-born' in one area, it's going to drag the rest of my life through the proverbial 'birth' with it. 'we're a generation born and raised by women. and i'm wondering if another woman is really what we need...' 'if i could wake up in another time. in another place. could i wake up a different person?' what i need to do is stop quoting things and start writing things people will quote. but then theres always that fear. that knowledge in the back of your head that you will never write as well as you want. you will never achieve your dreams the way you thought you would. you will never be an idol, you will never meet your idol. you will never write this well. but its nice to hear it every once in a while. | ||
| Oct. 25th, 2005 @ 08:12 pm why do you hide it away from me? is it that you dont trust me? or am i just too fucking ugly? | |||
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I feel very:
show me your secret smile, why do you hide it away from me? is it that you dont trust me or am i just too fucking ugly? botheredso i was forced to get my haircut, i just uploaded the picture now and here it is:  i have no idea what happened with the quality there, but its not that important. so it either looks disgustingly bad or its a huge improvement, to be honest i like my hair both ways so it shouldn't really bother me. so why does it? 'do you like my stupid hair? would you guess that i didn't know what to wear? im just scared of what you'd think' | ||
| Sep. 30th, 2005 @ 06:47 pm with a head full of lead and an ace of hearts, i have to ask, what went wrong? | |||
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I feel very:
excuse the subject title, i just sort of wrote it without thinking...so...yeah i downloaded let it enfold you by senses fail, they rawk. eh no ones on aim, and i dont wanna sign on msn, too many people, i should probably slim down my contact list. ugh, i think this damn cold/flu/whatever is catching up to me cos now my eyes are bloodshot (after being online for under 5 minutes) my head is pounding and i dont have the energy to do anything. i was at the park but i just hurt my ankle (again) and felt half asleep, its a miracle i even made it over the fence. i would play guitar but im sorta lacking the...motivation.  sickThe song you should be listening to is: Taking Back Sunday ~ This Photograph Is Proof (I Know Yo-..) that band thing is finally moving. wednesday's after school me, shish, josh and mark are meeting up to 'jam' hehe jam. but mark is way too good and me and josh dont wanna get stuck playin rhythm all the time so me him and kiri(sp?) are also meeting up friday lunch's to 'jam' hehe jam...so in a couple of years if i'm all famous...goodie for me :P so PFO day was today...that kinda...wasn't worth it lets say. i mean it was fun and all, but i still have no clue what to do with my life, but hey i'll figure it out. i watched sin city again, that movie is so freakin awesome. argh i messed my neck up as well, it kills. so...people suck...think about it. ooo taking back sunday...excuse me... 'Now I'm Lying On The Table With Everything You Said, It Will All Catch Up Eventually Well, It Caught Up And Honestly, The Weight Of My Decisions Were Impossible To Hold But They Were Never Yours' 'Drop Everything. Start It All Over. Remember More Than You'd Like To Forget.' | ||
| Aug. 24th, 2005 @ 12:53 pm (no subject) | |||
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I feel very:
 ...The song you should be listening to is: marilyn manson ~ the dope show  blah, friends only, leave a comment and i'll add you back | ||
| Aug. 7th, 2005 @ 09:32 am ...ah shit woops | |||
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| alright erm...i guess i should start off by saying that my last post was about something else...and...well...sorry that you all thought i was leaving (unless you were happy about it...in which case fuck off) anyway...i dont think i am going but this is probably getting too messy so if you're pissed off...well sorry and it would make sense if you're not gonna read anything i say anymore... okay well im not leaving but i am changing something. one small thing which doesnt affect...well most of you, its basically directed at my cuz, so if thats not you...well you can read but...yeah, anyway, cuz, first off, get your fuckin brother on this damned site, and do it quick before i beat the american out of him ;) second off, im making a second lj account (well not really a second one, i've had it for months but it was just something which i didnt use) anyway, im adding you to that second account and removing you from this account, i know it will sound weird, and thats because it really is weird, sorry but i've been thinking it through, and no matter how much i try to be okay with this. im not. i cant help it, i just cant feel comfortable mixing my friends with my family, i dont know why but hey, thats who your cousin is and im sure that by now you're finally used to it...if not, hell you got plenty of time to get used to it, anyway im adding your other account to it, hopefully that account doesnt have any friends on it either, because...again, the only reason i wanted you on this site was so that it would be easier for us to keep in touch in more ways than msn, honestly, it really bothers me that you're talking to my friends, but hey its your life, their life, i dont really have a say in this, do whatever you want...anyway im tired of explaining this and getting nowhere, so here. 'I Remember I Kept Thinking That I Know You Never Would And Now I KNOW I WANNA KILL YOU LIKE ONLY A BEST FRIEND COULD' | ||
| Aug. 5th, 2005 @ 07:59 pm thats it | |||
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| yeah fuck this | ||